Confessions of a Round One

I do not like being pregnant.

I know everyone is always talking about all the glamorous parts of pregnancy — the illustrious pregnancy glow, the magical experience of feeling your child moving and growing inside of you, the fast-growing hair and ability to eat to your heart's contentment. 

In my personal experience, here's how that actually panned out:

Although commonly mistaken for that beautiful pregnancy glow, what you've really seen for the past 38 weeks is the layer of sweat that's taken up residence on my body ever since I was morphed into baby-making oven. That, in combination with my paler and slightly green-tinted nausea face, does make me glow a little. But I don't think I'll miss it when it's gone.

Feeling the baby move? I'm not heartless. I love knowing that at the end of this, I get a beautiful baby girl. I don't, however, love feeling her noggin pressing onto my bladder while she sticks her butt out where my bellybutton used to reside alien-style. I'm glad she's growing and I'm glad to know she's still doing well in there, but you can bet I won't miss this "magic."

I swear I got gypped out of the whole mythical hair growth. Nothing changed with my hair, at all. It does seem, however, that the hair on my legs grows faster, which is ever so convenient now that I can no longer reach to shave without a)risking my life or b)a lot of guesswork. 

And eating? Well, I do eat a lot. Unfortunately, my scale has been paying attention to that. After recently breaking the 200-pound mark, I'm really hoping my new little one really enjoys going on walks around the neighborhood. Also, no matter how many times I try to convince my husband that the monopoly game at McDonald's is a real pregnancy craving, he doesn't believe me. Apparently you have to crave food for it to count. Bogus. 

In short, I'm over it. I'm so ready to be a mom and to no longer have little baby feet protruding from my side. I don't care who says it's beautiful, it's also a little creepy. And since we're just 12 days from the due date, I'd dare say I won't have too much longer to wait. 

Note to my baby girl: If you do happen to come out an alien baby, I'll still love you! I always had my suspicions about your dad anyway.  

Until next time,

Mama Joselynn

Mom-to-be Anxiety

I think it's probably an indication of how anxious I am to be a mom that I couldn't even wait for the baby to get here to start my mom-blogging.


No, she isn't here yet. In fact, I have another two weeks of waiting before she's even due. All I have to report now are sleepless nights, seemingly never-ending trips to the bathroom both to relieve the bladder and the morning (noon and night) sickness, and a sweet baby girl who thinks the inside of my rib cage makes a nice foot massager.


I look forward to posts of holding her, of feeding her and of watching her grow.


Still, I think it might be fun to get some of my plans and predictions typed out so that I can later compare them to our reality. Here's what I have so far:


1. She's going to come early. I'm not sure if it's wishful thinking or mother's intuition talking here, but I have a feeling she's going to catch me by surprise. I don't think she's coming tomorrow, but I'm thinking she'll definitely arrive before the due date.


2. She's going to be average size. Although my own personal birth weight of 10 pounds 8 3/4 ounces (My mom would throw a fit if I didn't credit her the 3/4 ounce.) might suggest she'll come out a behemoth baby like her mama, I'm guessing she'll wind up right around the 8 pound mark.


3. I'm going to be a mess during labor, but it will all turn out alright. I know this one may sound like a given, but my mind is constantly whipping between a fantasy where I handle a completely drugless, epiduralless labor like a champ with no complaints and a horror where I literally die of pain and exhaustion. I'm going to point my predictor somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.


4. I will exclusively breast feed. My fingers are crossed on this one.


5. I will (not exclusively, but mostly) use cloth diapers. If she's too small when she arrives, we'll use disposable and we'll use them on the go, too — I don't want to deal with dirty cloth diapers in restaurants or at church. But for the most part, I'd like to try to save some money and a little bit of our planet by sticking primarily to the cloth diapers.


6. Her name will be Anastasia Mae. I feel 99.9 percent confident that this one won't be changing in the next couple weeks.


7. I'll have lost all the baby weight in record time! OK, so maybe that's a little delusional. But I'd like to be showing significant changes in the first two months, even if that is mostly water weight.


And because seven is my favorite number, I'll stop my predictions there. Please forgive any mistakes and file any complaints neatly in the "blame it on the pregnancy" box, the contents of which will be addressed within approximately... never.

Note to my baby girl: I love you more than I can even begin to express with the words that I know, and I haven't even (really) seen your face. Also, if you would be a little gentler on the abdominal muscles on my right side, I'd really appreciate it. <3




Until next time,


Mama Joselynn