Confessions of a Round One

I do not like being pregnant.

I know everyone is always talking about all the glamorous parts of pregnancy — the illustrious pregnancy glow, the magical experience of feeling your child moving and growing inside of you, the fast-growing hair and ability to eat to your heart's contentment. 

In my personal experience, here's how that actually panned out:

Although commonly mistaken for that beautiful pregnancy glow, what you've really seen for the past 38 weeks is the layer of sweat that's taken up residence on my body ever since I was morphed into baby-making oven. That, in combination with my paler and slightly green-tinted nausea face, does make me glow a little. But I don't think I'll miss it when it's gone.

Feeling the baby move? I'm not heartless. I love knowing that at the end of this, I get a beautiful baby girl. I don't, however, love feeling her noggin pressing onto my bladder while she sticks her butt out where my bellybutton used to reside alien-style. I'm glad she's growing and I'm glad to know she's still doing well in there, but you can bet I won't miss this "magic."

I swear I got gypped out of the whole mythical hair growth. Nothing changed with my hair, at all. It does seem, however, that the hair on my legs grows faster, which is ever so convenient now that I can no longer reach to shave without a)risking my life or b)a lot of guesswork. 

And eating? Well, I do eat a lot. Unfortunately, my scale has been paying attention to that. After recently breaking the 200-pound mark, I'm really hoping my new little one really enjoys going on walks around the neighborhood. Also, no matter how many times I try to convince my husband that the monopoly game at McDonald's is a real pregnancy craving, he doesn't believe me. Apparently you have to crave food for it to count. Bogus. 

In short, I'm over it. I'm so ready to be a mom and to no longer have little baby feet protruding from my side. I don't care who says it's beautiful, it's also a little creepy. And since we're just 12 days from the due date, I'd dare say I won't have too much longer to wait. 

Note to my baby girl: If you do happen to come out an alien baby, I'll still love you! I always had my suspicions about your dad anyway.  

Until next time,

Mama Joselynn